Nope, Not Dead Yet 11 comments

Posted by grampa in random shit (Friday September 15, 2006 at 2:42 pm)

A Couple of Things

#1 – I just found a note, in my handwriting, on the back of a receipt, from June, which reads “Nothing says love like a smack to the back of the head.”

#2 – I had a very nice time last night with the new girl.  A first date with me usually includes the following information:

  • I’m a recovering drug addict;
  • I’m a convicted felon;
  • I have liver disease which, though being treated, can be fatal; and,
  • I’m in the middle of the eighth month of twelve months of chemotherapy and I may or may not be a complete psychopath at any time.

You see, I just throw all this stuff out there right at the very beginning and, if they’re still there when the dust settles, then I figure they’re sick enough for me.

#1 and #2 may or may not be related.  I’ll leave that up to you to decide.

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11 comments for Nope, Not Dead Yet »

So since it was “nice,” I’m guessing she stuck around when the dust settled? :)

I expect way more details than that buster.

Comment by theinsider — Friday.September.15.2006 @ 6:41 pm


echoing that sentiment. if meg and i can’t take you on dates, i’d like to at least be tortured with lascivious details.

Comment by moshi — Friday.September.15.2006 @ 6:58 pm


I came here for Grampa…is this suddenly Fresh Pepper?

Comment by PeeWee — Saturday.September.16.2006 @ 4:26 am


I really need to move to Hawaii so as to shoot the pilot for the Grampa/dating reality show, a “Flavor fo Love” for realists.

It will give a whole new meaning to the phrase “Your time is up”.

Comment by Wook — Sunday.September.17.2006 @ 2:02 am


yeah, yeah, yeah….
what about her tits and thoughts on “prison-style” anal?

Comment by enquir-yoW — Sunday.September.17.2006 @ 5:47 am


Do you get a lot of chicks this way?

Comment by iamnot — Monday.September.18.2006 @ 4:55 am


Congrats on the date. Hope it works out well. I do have to add, though, that anyome who freaks out & runs away after someone spills his guts & doesn’t even stick around for a dinner of funny stories is a complete tool.

Comment by Emily — Monday.September.18.2006 @ 9:24 am


In my defense i didnt “freak out” the stories just werent that interesting.

Comment by Stutteringjohnthebaptist — Monday.September.18.2006 @ 10:49 am


I bet all of those lines come out with some Mr. Subliminal action:

* I’m a recovering drug addict (big cock);
* I’m a convicted felon (tasty dick);
* I have liver disease which, though being treated, can be fatal (king cunnilingus); and,
* I’m in the middle of the eighth month of twelve months of chemotherapy and I may or may not be a complete psychopath at any time (really big cock).

Comment by Dick Diesel — Friday.September.22.2006 @ 8:48 am


I can only imagine that the little brown girl had a damn good time as well.

Comment by DrinkJack — Saturday.September.23.2006 @ 4:14 pm


[…] And, I tell every girl, every single one, on the first date, about all of it.  Aren’t these people old enough to make up their minds themselves?  And don’t the judgmental pricks at True think that people can ever change?  How long do I have to carry this shit around? […]

Pingback by Grampa’s House » A Word on Internet Dating — Tuesday.April.3.2007 @ 12:16 am


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