Five Reasons 10 comments

Posted by grampa in random shit (Monday August 7, 2006 at 10:14 pm)

Okay, so here are five reasons why I’d be cool with going to Scotland. 

1.  I really dig castles.
2.  To fuck Sean Connery.  What?  I mean, I’m not gay or anything, but I’d seriously fuck that old dude.
3.  I’ve always wanted to go a Viking from the Orkney Islands.
4.  I look great in a kilt, as I have very shapely calves.
5.  I love the bagpipes.  I can close my eyes and think about running down a hill, claymore in hand, screaming, with the bloodlust all up on me, all the while the bagpiper playing from atop a tor.  The sound of bagpipes is truly music to die by.  You either know what I mean by that last statement or you don’t.  I’ve already made the arrangements for there to be bagpipes at my funeral, whenever that may be.

Oh, and I’d like to fuck me some Scottish chicks, too.

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10 comments for Five Reasons »

I’ll send you pictures. Especially of Mr. Connery.

Comment by Emily — Tuesday.August.8.2006 @ 5:01 am


Scotland is the best place I have ever been (besides NYC, but I live here).
I would let you bagpipe me. (You know what that means, I assume).

Comment by PeeWee — Tuesday.August.8.2006 @ 7:18 am


I was getting worried until that last statement.

Comment by Lab Kat — Tuesday.August.8.2006 @ 7:39 am


Oh! And I’ll bring back (or ship) a Scottish girl over to you as well.

Comment by Emily — Tuesday.August.8.2006 @ 10:09 am


It’s a lovely place…land of the horizontal rain.
I was lucky enough to be there on both of the Sunny days in 1983 and again in ’84 and ’85.
I can’t help with the Scottish lass, my one acquaintance there was English.

Comment by iamnot — Tuesday.August.8.2006 @ 10:56 am


Love that accent on a woman.

Comment by DrinkJack — Tuesday.August.8.2006 @ 2:42 pm


but will you wear that kilt like a REAL scottsman……

Comment by question — Tuesday.August.8.2006 @ 4:44 pm


To badly paraphrase Sean in The Man Who Would Be King “Fucked by the likes of him…not likely bloody”

Comment by will — Wednesday.August.9.2006 @ 11:07 am


dude. i once travelled to scotland to visit my slutty ex, mostly out of fear of said ex’s desire to fuck scottish chicks. boy, were my fears assuaged. i’ve never seen a dumpier group of women outside of a cracker barrel.

Comment by boobs radley — Wednesday.August.9.2006 @ 12:14 pm


i’ll give sean your number and pick you up a kilt while i’m there in a few weeks… what size dress were you again?

Comment by wendykat — Thursday.August.10.2006 @ 10:41 am


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