Like I Give a Shit 8 comments

Posted by grampa in I am full of love (Friday August 4, 2006 at 7:46 am)

Dear Florida,

Fuck you.  I hate you all and want you to die, you simple minded cocksuckers.  Why, you ask?  Because I am sick of hearing your tired little whining every time there is a storm in the Atlantic that may come somewhere near your piece of shit house.  Let it be noted that I don’t give a fuck about when a storm does destroy your shittly little house, either.  I don’t care about your Andrews, your Charlies or even your fucking Katrinas.  You made the choice on where to live, so fucking deal with it.

Why is it that every goddamn summer I have to listen to the endless litany of hurricane season and then get updates for the next several months?  I don’t want to hear about another fucking hurricane until I hear about the one that drowns that entire limp dick of a state.  If there aren’t at least as many bodies as that last big tsunami, then take your bitch asses off the fuck’n TV.  Pussies.

I don’t even know why you cocksuckers want to live there.  It’s hot, humid, and covered in mosquitos.  I say you just get on with it, sell that fucker to the Cubans and move the fuck back home.   Cause you know you weren’t born there.  I’ve yet, in all my travels, ever met anyone who was actually born in Florida.  It’s like you have to be fleeing child support from some northern trailer park or float in on a boat made of popsicle sticks and beer cans to be allowed entry.

Better yet, don’t move.  Secede.  We don’t want your fucking cultural backwash back in the rest of the real states.  Keep your Disney and your Miami Vice and your swamp ass and stay until the big one comes and kills you all.

That, I’d watch on television.

Much love and squalor,


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8 comments for Like I Give a Shit »

Well hello there Mr. Sunshine!
(Get it the sunshine state????)
You’re in a fine little mood today. You didn’t give up those cigie-butts in spite of doctor’s orders, did you?

Comment by iamnot — Friday.August.4.2006 @ 9:40 am

It’ll get worse before it gets better.

Comment by grampa — Friday.August.4.2006 @ 9:49 am

Funny. I feel the same way about Texas. How about this…… cream cake & bitching about said states until we laugh so hard that we’re crying? Down?

Comment by Emily — Friday.August.4.2006 @ 10:26 am

You da man Gramps.
How we deal with the things we get right means very little.
How we deal with the consequences of our fuck-ups is what defines us.
You’ve got my respect man.

Comment by iamnot — Friday.August.4.2006 @ 10:33 am

I have always hated Floriduh. And you made me chuckle, it really does look like a “limp dick”. Manhattan does too, but I look at Manhattan maps upside down.

Comment by PeeWee — Saturday.August.5.2006 @ 6:53 am

Bwwahhahahhah – You should be the one who is interviewed for the local reaction to the next hurricane…. What pisses me off is that my insurance will be raised to help offset people’s stupidity of ocean front views of a tidal wave.

Comment by DrinkJack — Saturday.August.5.2006 @ 11:33 am

your anger gives me energy.

Comment by meg — Sunday.August.6.2006 @ 6:41 am

I 100000000% agree.

Comment by yossarian — Sunday.August.6.2006 @ 6:45 pm

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