Hey Man, Got Any Strychnine? 3 comments

Posted by grampa in I am full of love (Thursday June 22, 2006 at 8:55 am)

An update on the Great Dog Menace of 2006.

Apparently, there is never any Zyklon B around when you really need it.

The lack of any large mammalian vermin, such as ground hogs, gophers or wolves, on this island means that the poison one would generally use to kill off these critters is not a big seller.  Free market economics being what they are, a lack of demand means that there is no supply.  Hence, I cannot get the aforementioned Cooke’s secret ingredient to make my meatballs and feed them to the dog next door.

I will not be deterred.  I am currently transforming my bathroom into a modified meth lab and am distilling a stronger poison out of the shit they give to rats.  It’s kind of a big dog.  Just yappy.  If I manage to not blow up the house, that fucker will surely be dead soon.

Who said all those years of drug addiction were wasted?

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3 comments for Hey Man, Got Any Strychnine? »

Feel free to pack up that shit and send it over.

I’ve some humans I’d LOVE to use it on. ;)

Comment by theinsider — Thursday.June.22.2006 @ 12:51 pm

I thought about feeding it a hundred dollars worth of heroin, but I decided to abandon that idea when I caught myself thinking, “Well, I bet 20 bucks worth would kill it and I could keep the rest for me.”

Bad sign. I’ll go with the rat bait.

Comment by grampa — Thursday.June.22.2006 @ 3:27 pm

I need that recipe…the fucking dogs upstairs will not stop running around all day and night and bark at every fart

Comment by Darren — Monday.June.26.2006 @ 3:48 pm

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