Grampa’s Handy-Dandy Rules for Living, Volume 1 7 comments

Posted by grampa in grampa's handy-dandy rules for living (Sunday June 11, 2006 at 8:52 pm)

If you plan to drive 60 miles (one-way) on a two lane road, meet with any administrative body (particularly one comprised entirely of recovering addicts), go to Wal-Mart, or CostCo, or, essentially, leave your cave and interact with any other human being on the planet, bear this in mind:

Grampa’s Handy-Dandy Rules for Living, Rule #1:

People are stupid. Please plan accordingly.

And by plan accordingly, I mean have absolutely no expectations about the length of time it may take to drive anywhere. Ever. Or, to think that just because someone has an expensive car they have any concept of how to drive that fucker. Do not assume that people know how to merge. Realize that most people (especially an administrative body comprised entirely of recovering addicts) just like to hear themselves talk. And will do so. At length. Do not assume that anything fruitful will be said. Ever. Finally, do not fail to underestimate the stupidity of cashiers.

Or neighbors, for that matter.

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7 comments for Grampa’s Handy-Dandy Rules for Living, Volume 1 »

can you have a handy dandy rule of never wearing ugg boots with a skirt that only barely covers you skank ass in the dead of winter but also wearing same said outfit in summer so your stank ass feet get swamp rot in the heat?


Comment by wendykat — Monday.June.12.2006 @ 12:21 am

You are just so much fun on Sunday mornings after you drive to Kona, LOL.

Road rage, thy name is Grampa.

Comment by theinsider — Monday.June.12.2006 @ 12:41 pm

Wen – I think this rule covers it. However, you should have her call me. I may need to explore this personally.

Insider – You should see my brother.

Comment by grampa — Monday.June.12.2006 @ 8:18 pm

Somehow he seems so much more.. sedate.

Comment by theinsider — Tuesday.June.13.2006 @ 3:53 am

Oh, yeah, that’s the world for him.. You betchya.

Comment by grampa — Tuesday.June.13.2006 @ 5:51 am

[…] This is one of those things where being alone too much is absolutely not a good thing.  See support groups, above.  You aren’t going to want to get out in the first few weeks.  Try to do it anyway.  Sometimes you gotta force yourself.  I would also suggest having a roommate.  My roommate, hereafter known as MadMartigan, has been great.  He went through the treatment a while back, so he is familiar with the madness currently afflicting me.  By the end of this, he should be nominated for sainthood, just for listening to my rants. […]

Pingback by Grampa’s House » A Brief History of Liver — Tuesday.August.1.2006 @ 7:51 am

[…] And, I haven’t smoked a cigarette since last Monday and I still haven’t killed anyone, even though I did have a 3 hour NA service meeting on Sunday morning. I’ve mentioned this meeting before here. […]

Pingback by Grampa’s House » Junkie, Heal Thyself — Tuesday.February.5.2008 @ 10:26 pm

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