Four More Years 16 comments

Posted by grampa in random shit (Thursday April 19, 2007 at 8:19 am)

I turn 35 today.

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16 comments for Four More Years »

happy birthday grampa.

til i saw your pic i figured you for 50 or so… due to your crotchediness.

i am free to make up words as i see fit.

hope you get lucky with a “little brown girl”.

Comment by anonymous mom — Thursday.April.19.2007 @ 8:23 am

Happy Birthday You Young Fuck!

Comment by xtx — Thursday.April.19.2007 @ 8:24 am

Happy Birthday old man. ;-) Sheesh, I’m ancient. I could damn near be your Mom. Gah!
Have a really awesome day for us!

Comment by One Wink — Thursday.April.19.2007 @ 10:57 am

happy birthday. hope you’re having a markedly less shitty day than i am, filled with a purple penis foot massage from a buxom and comely pharmacist.

Comment by kermit — Thursday.April.19.2007 @ 11:58 am

Happy Birthday! and stuff.

Comment by panajane — Thursday.April.19.2007 @ 12:55 pm

God you are SO old. ;)

Happy birthday jerkass.

Comment by theinsider — Thursday.April.19.2007 @ 2:18 pm

Happy Birthday Grampa. I am not old enough to be your Mommy, but I would love to spank you. Bad boy.

Comment by PeeWee — Thursday.April.19.2007 @ 6:13 pm

Random stranger congratulations on surviving to 35. Personally, that was my favorite age. I held on to it for three years (I skipped 34 because 35 sounded more cool). I hope you continue to survive and thrive so I can enjoy your rants against the external for a while longer.

(What? the world is supposed to entertain me.)

Comment by Sherri — Friday.April.20.2007 @ 2:38 am

happy happy joy joy grampa, have an awesome day and do something for YOURSELF that is good and great…

Comment by piglet — Friday.April.20.2007 @ 10:58 am

So, I’m at this work party, as GrampZ knows I work at a college. Couple of the student-worker lads invited some college staff to a BBQ, including myself and this jerkass twit colleague I have to pretend to like as my daily bargain in good faith with destiny.

APPARENTLY, I didn’t release the keg handle all the way, giving rise to a foamer, and was almost-to-the-point-of-outwardly-agreesively-chided by jerkass because I didn’t operate a fucking kegtap the way a Marine handles their rifle.

Because the follow-up explanation would have been too demanding for a Friday eve, I refrained from the rant that swirled through my head, laughed it off and went on. But as I drove home later, it festered, so I hereby unload upon you that which was intended for jerkass:

“Dude…are you KIDDING me? I know Grampa…yes, THE Grampa!! I, who danced The Ledges on the shoulders of that mighty red wizard. I’ve driven to New Orleans and back with the Armenian Elvis on 45 minutes of sleep. I’ve passed the Intergalatic Spacepimp Hat as they arrested the one they call Yow-weh for crimes of Cock Prophecy in a town full of Rangerover hippies. I’ve seen rockets taking out all the bridges in Pittsburgh. I’ve witnessed an archangel crawl out of a brick wall to deliver an encoded message to three stooges, and I know for a fact that there are rakes a-plenty in the promised land. I know a rotten fish can spawn a revolution if you let it. I’ve marched with Wookiees, Anal Cosmetic Surgeons, White Flavs, and Beatbox Popes. And dude, may I reiterate….I know Grampa. So step RIGHT the fuck back.”

Thirty-fuckin-five. You big gorgeous bastard you…walkin’ da Earf like Kane in Kung Fu.

Comment by neqq — Friday.April.20.2007 @ 4:31 pm

gramps, when are you coming to australia?

srsly. i want to give you a hug. and i’m pretty good-looking, so i should get what i want. lolz.

i’ve missed you, btw.

Comment by moshi — Saturday.April.21.2007 @ 12:58 am

Late as usual. Happy Birthday! Hope you got fucked

Comment by DrinkJack — Sunday.April.22.2007 @ 4:22 am

by the way..unless you plan on being 100 yrs old…35 is middle aged.

have a nice day.

Comment by Y-line — Sunday.April.22.2007 @ 2:49 pm

happy belated

Comment by question girl — Monday.April.23.2007 @ 2:30 pm

35? You tell that to your 18-year-old cock, Gramps. I’m not buying it.

I believe I owe you a well deserved, “Happy Birthday, you old bitch.”

And many more …

Comment by 123Valerie — Tuesday.April.24.2007 @ 10:06 am

Don’t use regular years. Use the Jesus System. You’re not 35, you’re Jesus+2.

Comment by JW — Friday.April.27.2007 @ 9:02 am

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