Just Another Day at the Casa de Frenzy 4 comments

Posted by grampa in I am full of love,random shit (Tuesday October 31, 2006 at 5:16 pm)

Fifteen days, bitches.  I get on a plane and go on vacation in fifteen days.

Of course, not to be all rested up before my vacation, I am preparing for a trial that starts on Monday, I have a room mate moving in tomorrow, the old room mate moving out next week, a girlfriend to see, presents to buy, shit to pack and, according to my doctors, I’ll have to make some time for sleep.

The Walking Frenzy is in the house, yo.

 

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Grampa’s Infallible Pick Up Lines, Vol. 4 8 comments

Posted by grampa in grampa's handy-dandy rules for living (Friday October 27, 2006 at 8:27 am)

Grampa:  “Do you have a credit card?”

Nameless: “Yeah.  Why?”

Grampa: “So we can get a hotel room and fuck.”

Nameless: “Okay.”

Grampa: “And buy a bucket of chicken wings.”

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Thank God, There’s Hope For Us Yet 0 comments

Posted by grampa in random shit (Thursday October 26, 2006 at 11:58 am)

From the George Carlin Quote of the Day Calendar:

If everyone in the world sat quietly at the same time, closed their eyes and concentrated as hard as they could on peace and goodwill, all the killing and cruelty in the world would continue.  And probably increase.

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Grampa’s Infallible Pick Up Lines, Vol. 3 4 comments

Posted by grampa in grampa's handy-dandy rules for living (Wednesday October 25, 2006 at 9:23 am)

Your eyes are really beautiful.

Now bend over.

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Grampa’s Infallible Pick Up Lines, Vol.2 6 comments

Posted by grampa in grampa's handy-dandy rules for living (Tuesday October 24, 2006 at 8:34 am)

Look, we can have as much fun as you want, but if you get emotionally attached, then this is going to end badly.

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Grampa’s Infallible Pick Up Lines, Vol. 1 6 comments

Posted by grampa in grampa's handy-dandy rules for living (Thursday October 19, 2006 at 9:11 am)

Granted, I might be a sociopath, but I’m funny.

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Have No Fear, Damage Control Is Here 12 comments

Posted by grampa in dating,I am full of love (Monday October 16, 2006 at 10:39 am)

As you may know, yesterday there was an earthquake here in Hawaii.  While little 3 and 4-pointers are common, it was the largest that I’ve ever experienced.  I was in bed with my girlfriend at the time and, while there was some serious house shaking going on for almost a minute, the only damage that we really suffered was some pictures fell off the wall and broke and the contents of bookshelves and closets disgorged.

Power was off for most of the day.

So, while the neighbors were running around trying to figure out what to do, we busted out MadMartigan’s camping stove and set to making coffee with the French press.  After that, I cooked some bacon and heated up the fajitas I’d made the night before.

I don’t know about you, but when a crisis strikes, my first thoughts are on getting some coffee and a good meal, you never know how long it will be before the next one.

I told the room-mate he should get his guns out.  You see, while I had ten pounds of Kona coffee, I only had a pot’s worth already ground.  Now, don’t get me wrong, if need be, I’d’ve just chewed up handfuls of those bitches without hesitation.  But, such as it was, we only had a small supply of immediately brewable coffee.  I figured when the natives smelled the coffee and bacon, they might all be thinking they could come get some.  I hate to tell you people, but the plan was that MadMartigan might just to have to start sniping those fuckers from the roof. 

I think we’d start with those cocksuckers across the street.  You know, the ones with the dog.

Speaking of the dog, over breakfast MadMartigan, The Girl and I were talking about harvesting the neighbors’ goat, dog and chickens so that we could ensure a steady meat supply.  We decided that we would lay in a 50# bag of salt in the event of the next emergency.

Everything is well here, the neighbors and their vermin are still alive, I’m still hating them and loving life and I’ll be back as often as I can.

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