Ahoy, Matey! Now Bend Over. 9 comments

Posted by grampa in health,I am full of love (Friday June 23, 2006 at 9:22 pm)

I’ve been having some vision problems due to one of the many medicines I’m currently taking for my host of ills.  At least I think it’s one of the medicines.  It could have been that, when I was dry-heaving for three days prior to my most recent hospitalization, I ruptured the laser surgery I had in December to fix a crack in my retina.  I won’t know until I fly to Honolulu next Friday and see the specialist.

What I do know is that by about 2 p.m. I’m pretty much blind and it is very hard to see unless I have my right eye closed.  So, I’ve been wearing an eye-patch in the afternoons.  This is good for a couple of reasons.  One, it allows me to satisfy my pirate fantasy I’ve had since I’ve been a wee lad.  Two, leering at the pretty girls that work at the hair salon across the street is much better when wearing an eye patch.  No one leers like a one-eyed pirate.  At least not me as a one-eyed pirate.

Now, if I could just find someone who will fuck me while I am wearing this thing.  Prepare to be boarded.  Now that would be special.  If you’re out there, (call me). 

What, just ’cause I’m blind you think I can’t still fuck?  Please. 

And, to all you representatives of the external, don’t even think for a second that just because I can’t see you, that I don’t still hate every single one of you.

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